I can’t speak to any other medium’s experience with Spirit, but I would like to share with you what it’s been like for me.
My earliest experiences involving Spirit: my mom says that as soon as I could talk, she became aware of my abilities. I’ve always had invisible friends around and I always knew things that I shouldn’t have known. Mom chose to watch and wait, never making anything of my gifts. She might ask the odd question, but she purposely didn’t make the issue any bigger than it already was.
Back then these abilities weren’t accepted by most people. You were either possessed by the devil or needed heavy medications to counter your mental illness. My grandmother was a Scottish war bride who grew up on the grounds of Blackness Castle with ghosts. At night, they would move the furniture in her home around. My mom just accepted that I was like my great-grandmother who had also been able to see beyond the veil. Mom grew up with family ghost stories, so it didn’t seem odd for her to have a sensitive daughter.
People ask me what it’s like talking to and seeing the dead. It can be terrifying at times, but it can also make me feel safe. I have three amazing guides who have been with me since before birth. None of us comes alone, everyone has guides, and it’s nice that I’m able to consciously connect with them.
It’s the spirits I don’t know that can freak me out.
Growing up I went through some really tough experiences before I learned how to block and protect myself and my space. I spent a lot of nights laying on my parents’ bedroom floor too terrified to fall asleep. As an adult, though, I take strength from my gifts, they're core to who I am. I feel privileged to be able to do the work I do, live as I do, and to know that when I do cross over, it will be something to celebrate. If you have a child in your life who is struggling with these abilities you should check out this article here.
The way you think and feel internally is a language specific to you. Events, memories, thoughts, and feelings are all unique to you because of the way you interpret them, react to them, and change as a result of them. No two people will process the same situation in exactly the same way.
When I work with my guides they mix memories together. A snippet from here, a dash of that time when _______ happened. They share with me what I need to know about now. They can tell me how you’re feeling by putting me back, for just a second, into a time when I felt the same. They use a lot of visual symbols. Communication becomes a process of looking for what is highlighted in each flash and then fitting all of the pieces in together to understand the message.
Everything is done with an exchange of energy. It’s hard to describe to someone who has never felt it, but if you come without expectation to the message, it will flow and come together organically. If you have resistance or expectations, things get stuck, and messages get distorted. When I read for others, I’m emotionally objective so everything comes smoothly.
It can take time to figure things out for myself because I need to get my own emotional crap out of the way first. Hearing the message is often easier than the process of understanding and comprehending what was intended. When I translate for someone else, I get less caught up in the weeds.
For Spirit, communication is instant and crystal clear because they don’t hold emotion, resist truth, or get stubborn the way we do. They’re not pulling their strings, they’re pulling mine. If you understand what I’m saying, you’ll get why it’s so much harder to get answers for myself when I’m lost in my own emotion and anxiety.
My guides will actually step back from me when I’m overwhelmed and wait for me to find calm. It used to drive me nuts because I felt like I was always being abandoned at my lowest point, but Spirit will never solve problems for you or override your self-determination. You must choose to listen. You must prepare yourself for the process or they will go quiet and wait until resistance passes. We must all walk our own path, make our own choices, and seek our own council.
I forget that sometimes.
Real communication means you need to sift through and feel what the true sentiment of the message is without getting stuck in your stuff. This is why it’s hard sometimes for psychics to process messages for themselves. I need to be objective, calm, and equally open to new perspectives. It’s also why you should record your sessions with a medium.
Guides process information differently than we do because they understand cycles. They can see from their vantage point that “Kathy” needs to go through X, and feel Y, to get to K, where she will release karma and build strength to find balance.
If you ever get the chance to watch the movie Arrival starring Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner, you will get a sense for what I mean about time and cycles.
My Guides understand the purpose and the value of my angst and they’re patient enough to let me choose my own path through it. It’s the reason we come into body: to learn, process, and release. What I used to interpret as being abandoned is really just an act of love and respect. I’ve learned that how we frame our perceptions of events will absolutely dictate our understanding of life and self. How we process our experience determines our success on a soul level.
I like to talk as I work things out, I ask Spirit a lot of questions, but I don’t like asking clients for information as it feels like spoon-feeding or cheating. If I keep looking, the answers will come from the other side anyway. I’ve learned to pass on crazy messages that mean nothing to me. Often, they mean everything for the person for whom they are intended.
Loved Ones Who Have Passed Over
When someone crosses over with no warning, they often feel a need to tell their loved ones they’re okay. I frequently know who has passed in the family before anyone else because they come to me first. (They know I will see them.)
In working with the recently deceased I’ve learned a few things:
We’re energy and it takes focused effort to push our atoms and molecules close enough together to be seen by someone in body. When a soul is upset, it’s much easier (and more stressful) for me to see them. This is why I often see a fog or shape rather than a clear image of the person I’m talking to. It’s actually better for them to focus on getting their message though to me than pushing all that energy into being able to be seen.
Imagine that you’re a radio station and that you receive on one channel and transmit on another. You’re trying to talk to me. To do that well, you need to know what stations I monitor and transmit on. There is no sign that says, “Check in here.” It’s trial and error. If you’ve just crossed over, that process is going to take time because you’re in transition and there’s a lot going on. You also have your own channels and they may not be set to work with mine. The soul on the other side has to work through a process to communicate.
Wait a week or a month before you book a session with me. Give the person you love time to catch their breath.
I like to keep contact information for clients for a few days after a reading as loved ones in spirit can, and often do, connect with me later on. (Usually at 3 AM as I am waking up from a deep sleep.) It’s easier to be able to pass an important message along to you the next day than it is to send your loved ones away. I don’t charge for this service, I consider it a follow up. I've learned that Spirit can be very persistent.
Just because they’re dead doesn’t mean they’re with you 100% of the time. If you come for a session and your loved one doesn’t come with you, I’m not going to get a message from them. For this reason, I won’t book a session just to talk with a specific person. I do a session for you and if they come through, then I pass it along.
Dying doesn’t make you right. Until a soul goes into the light, they hold onto all of their ideas, judgements and emotional crap. If you wouldn’t take their advice when they were alive, you should use caution now. Once a soul goes into the light perceptions change but love remains.
Want to guess what tortures the dead the most? It's an easy answer and one we should all consider. It's emotionally abusive to both the soul who has departed and to the loved one's left behind, when someone uses the dead to cause pain to others or to justify their own wrongdoing.
To watch from the other side as the people you love are hurt is brutal! Imagine how you would feel if your family was fighting over wills, intentionally causing distress, or systematically destroying your life’s work? Imagine the trauma of wanting to put the record straight, standing there screaming, yet not being heard. Have a good will, communicate every day so that people know how you really feel, and avoid this outcome.
From the other side you can feel everyone’s pain, understand everyone’s motivation, and know where things have the potential to go in the future. Be very careful what you do in another’s name to seek revenge or to get even. It will only hurt you both. The dead still feel and carry the weight of their responsibility and actions. Honor the dead by caring about, or at least being compassionate towards, those they loved.
Don’t be afraid to get on with your life and embrace new opportunities. Spirit will understand.
There are ways to increase your odds of communication:
Talk to your person, tell them “I’m going to see Tara and you need to be ready to talk when we get there, it’s our best chance.”
Remind them consistently over a couple days that you’re going to a medium so that they stay close and have time to come up with their own plan for communication.
Think about them for a few minutes before the session. This will draw them to you and greatly increase the odds that they’ll be here and ready to work.
If your person doesn’t show and we've come to the back part of your reading, I'll ask your Guides for help us connect with them. This usually works but I don’t ever guarantee that I'll speak to a certain person on your behalf.
After about seven years, your odds of a connection fall dramatically. Some souls move on or even go back into body. Other souls will wait decades for their partner to pass. Each case is unique, the only way to know is to try.
If your loved one was abusive or dangerous to you, your Guides may keep them at a distance to protect you from them. If their energies are not safe, my Guides won't allow your person into my home. Again, this is rare but it does happen. My Guides will tell me when and why they block someone. Your Guides will also have an opportunity to share.
The Work We Do...
Mediums do different kinds of work and they function in different vibratory rates or energy levels. No one that I've met can do it all well because you would have to be able to raise and lower your vibratory rate on a massive scale. The physical body doesn't do that well.
An electrician can choose to be a wireman focused on roughing in houses and low voltage installations or, they can seek work as a lineman installing and caring for utility and distribution systems that run at a higher voltage. Both roles require electricians but their niche, procedures, tools and risks are quite different. You wouldn't run 14/2 house wire between power poles and expect it to be safe. Mediums choose their path.
Medium Allison DuBois works in darkness with murderers and people who are caught in an intense trauma. I admire her so much! This kind of work is very important but it scares the bejesus out of me! I lived in terror as a child and as soon as I could figure out how to block out certain things I did. Allison holds herself open to the monsters, so that she can rescue their prey, that takes major guts!
I don't believe that you need to know darkness to know the light.
We've all experienced enough of our own darkness, I don't dabble in it, I work to transform it. We need more light keepers. There are times when I take on heavy work because I feel I have to but thankfully it's rare. My Primary Guide works with me on "information and educational issues" first.
We work with those who have crossed over when we can make a positive impact on both the living and the dead. They usually need to be resting in realms equivalent to what we live in here. This isn't an issue for 99.8% of the souls people seek out.
When someone who has been a real "shit" in their life goes to the light, it's common for them to want to make amends. These souls aren't functioning the way they were when they crossed over because they've stripped away the desperation from their energies. They're very calm and usually focused on healing the storm they left behind.
My focus is on fulfilling my life purpose. I've come to relay the information people need to get their spiritual work done. I'm driven with the desire that we all get our work done in our own way and time.
I'm a chicken at heart, I admit it, and when people show up in my room unexpectedly, or just come out of nowhere, I've never been able to be really casual about that. It can freak me out, I'm jumpy, and I use a lot of white light for protection.
I love my work, being able to make a difference for someone is an amazing feeling. I would be lost without my gifts. I've just learned that I need to be careful about what I let in. Prayer is a big deal for me!
I've been picketed at shows, called an agent of Satan, threatened and, discriminated against for my religious beliefs and gifts. The funny thing is that I live my life through a spiritual lens, always considering the larger soul growth or big picture of things.
I understand how we are all connected on a soul level and I only want what's best for everyone. When you can see into someone's soul, it's easier to accept them for who they are, see them for where they are at and where they will be again, when we all go home.